Birther Island!
<flyover shot of Hawaii>
Someone's birth certificate is missing. One man journeys to a mysterious island to find out the truth.
SCENE
WOMAN: Yeah, he's my baby. I had him...in HELL!
SCENE
MAN: This document is a forgery. Look, there's a misspelling here. A smudge of guacamole there. If you flip it over, it's clear that this was a coupon for Chili's. I want answers!
SCENE
MYSTERY WOMAN: The prophecy says one will rise up from the island and gain power over the United States of America.
MYSTERY WOMAN: Does it say if he'll get a second term?
MYSTERY WOMAN: The prophecy does not specify.
SCENE
MAN: It's...you.
MYSTERIOUS PRESIDENTIAL MAN: I just wanted to clear this matter up...by sending you back to where you came from!
MAN: Newark? Kenya? Sorry, I'm a little confused here.
MYSTERIOUS PRESIDENTIAL MAN: I meant that I was going to kill you.
SCENE
MAN: Damn you, Birther Islaaaaaaand!!!